I’m a huge goal setter. I’m also a hoarder on productivity and goal-setting books–anything I can get my hands on I will dog-ear to death. I view goal setting as a way to reinvent myself and create a new self. It doesn’t have to be New Year’s Eve–I’ll plot down random goals on the back of a napkin on any random day–always with faith and optimism that of course I’ll get them done! In fact, I don’t know anyone who isn’t optimistic about actually achieving their goals when they create them.
Then, a few weeks or months later, so many of these amazing, life-reinventing goals just tend to slip by the wayside. Looking through so many of my journal entries, I’ll see the same goals repeated over and over again. It’s the old cliches of “This time I’ll lose 20 lbs!” or “This year I’ll write a book!” that so many of us commit.
Does this mean we’re fickle? That we’re losers? Not necessarily! What it does mean is that before jumping willy nilly into goal setting, we’ve got to learn how to set the right goals–for us. That is, you wouldn’t just decide you’re going to run a marathon and then just do it if you’ve never run more than a mile before, right? So why is it you think you can set the goal of running a marathon and then just hope it’ll happen one day? That’s precisely what most of us do when we set goals: We create an awesome, far-reaching vision but then we let it lie dormant, sometimes prodding it with our foot, hoping it’s awake, or at least alive.
The secrets to achieving your dream goals once and for all!
1. Create REAL goals
Real goals are those that are far-reaching yet still attainable. Winning the lottery wouldn’t be a real goal because it’s completely dependent on luck rather than your own hard work. That isn’t to say that you can’t visualize winning the lottery and manifesting it, however, real goals are those goals that you know might be difficult to achieve but you also know are still 100% achievable if you put elbow grease into them.
This is a fine line, because we oftentimes think our dreams aren’t achievable when, in actuality, we 100% can achieve them. At this point, we simply lack faith in ourselves. So part of creating real goals is expanding our imagination and dreaming big. Think about something you’d love to achieve in your lifetime. Now, expand on it! So you want to write a book? Now, imagine you are a New York Times bestselling author. Don’t even waste the time thinking it could never happen–you can never know that. To even think these sorts of negative thoughts is to lie to yourself. Why waste time coming up with lies to yourself when you can spend the time dreaming and following through on your dreams?
2. Create TRUTHFUL goals
Truthful goals are goals that are aligned with your own, personal values. No one else’s. So how do you determine if a goals is truthful and real to you?
First, decide what your values are. This may not be simple! I’ve got a great process to help you figure out what you stand for in my free Irresistible Lifestyle Playbook (click on the top, side or center sign-ups to get the download).
Second, stop comparing yourself to others. This step may actually be more important than the previous one. So many of us fall prey to comparing ourselves to what others have, what they look like, what they do, that we completely misplace our own identity. So figure out who you are. Don’t waver. Modify if you need to, but don’t become a different person just because you think you’ll fit in better. Don’t ever change because you think it’ll make you more lovable. It won’t…you’ll just become a fraud. So figure out what your values are and stick to them.
3. Learn to be at PEACE with where you are
Along the lines of not changing your values in order to fit in better, learn to be happy with you innately are. This may take some hard work, but it’s well worth the time and investment. Find a life coach who will help you not only figure out what your goals are, but also help you stick with them. Indulge in the self-development section at the bookstore. Listen to self-help podcasts and audiobooks.
Find a way to have fun everyday. Make it a point to laugh as much as you can and to have quiet time all to yourself. This is incredibly important to you finding peace with who you are and where you are in life today. I love to workout first thing in the morning, and I double my feel-goodness by listening to motivational audiobooks and podcasts while I’m running or weight lifting. I highly recommend making your workout part of your daily meditation. Your day starts off on an awesome, happy vibe and this feeling carries onto the rest of your daily activities.
Additionally, learn to be a peace with where you are. We often set goals when we’re at a low point and want to drastically change our lives. This is a great motivation, but at the same time, don’t discount what you’ve been through. Learn not to be harsh with yourself–this is incredibly important! Understand that where you are in life has an important reason, even if you don’t see it yet yourself. Life is about learning. In fact, the journey to reaching our goals is oftentimes more fun than the actual reward! So even if you are at the very bottom, look at it as you having so much potential to raise up. You can’t go anywhere else BUT up!
4. Learn to BURN for your goals everyday
You burn for your goals in the beginning. But many times, that burning dwindles off to mere ashes after a few days or weeks. In order to keep the burn going, you must review your goals every week, and pursue them in a small degree every day. You do this by breaking down your goals, no matter how big or how small, into smaller mini-goals. Think: Small, actionable steps that you can take every day. You do something everyday so your goal is not “out of sight, out of mind.”
For example, if you want to run a marathon, you don’t just up and run one that day. You train for it. You join a running group, buy shoes, join the gym, and commit to running every day or so. You don’t just run 20 miles on your first day. No, you run 1 mile at first, then 2 the next week, then 4 the week after, etc. You get my drift. Again, I have an excellent way to help you break down your goals into mini-goals in the Irresistible Lifestyle Playbook.
Post affirmations everywhere. Review those daily. Visualize yourself achieving your goal daily (I suggest visualization before you even step foot out of bed in the morning). It’s also important to focus on 3-5 major goals at one time (otherwise you’ll be in bed for 5 hours visualizing all your goals every day). Read up on your goals. Surround yourself with people with the same goals. Do something everyday that will propel you towards the life of your dreams.
What goals have you always wanted to accomplish?
Look through your journals.
You’ll see a pattern there.
Now, commit to them or scratch them off your list forever.
Tell me what you’re going to accomplish below!